Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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