Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He did a backflip because drugs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
