And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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