he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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