Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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