apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
