I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
