if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
