She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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