she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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