Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
