Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
two words...techno handjob
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
As shirtless as possible
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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