so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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