She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
