the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
