no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
