So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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