this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
