I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize