dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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