Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
