Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize