I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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