She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
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day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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