I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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