I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
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He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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