I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So apparently I’m into choking now
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