So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
