youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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