My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize