Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
