Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
