FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
