I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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