you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
