I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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