I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
