yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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