You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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