I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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