More tranny stories later!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
