Capitaan dildo arrescate!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
