school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
