3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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