you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
