Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
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Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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