could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
