she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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