great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
