so that wasnt chicken after all
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
