How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
