he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
two words: eviction party
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
