You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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