i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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