i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
