Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
