what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I need to stop coming to work sober
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
