i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
