he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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