party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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