Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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