She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Two words: blizzard sex
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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