I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
