R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
