they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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