Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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