fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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